most problems in life are
communication problems.

Communication is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life. Yet, many of us struggle to express ourselves with confidence and connect authentically with others. Despite dedication to self-development, you feel stuck, disconnected, insecure and frustrated by your communication skills.

You know what you want to say, yet struggle saying it.

With The Spec Method, I advocate for holistic communication skills, and introspection is the key. I believe in nurturing your inner voice as a guiding light toward clear, effective communication. Too much of communication skills have been externalized - it's time to go inward!

Spec is a root word, meaning "to look"

About Rachel

What is The Spec Method?

transform your

communication from within

a mindful, holistic method

Meet Amelia

The Spec Method is a holistic approach to communication for professionals who are looking to cultivate genuine, impactful ways of conveying themselves. It is a strategic combination of mindfulness and introspection used to develop positive inner dialogue, shift perspectives, and discover how you best communicate. It's not about fixing anything, but tapping into the treasure trove of self-awareness already available to you.

Why Naturopathy

What others are saying

I have had the opportunity to work with Rachel, and she has been nothing short of extraordinary! She has a way of assessing your needs and then crafting the perfect strategy to meet and exceed all expectations.

Calvin L.

CEO | Speaker

Ready to learn more about The Spec Method offerings?

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Discovery Call

the past 3 weeks I've stopped consuming everything and entered into the grand experiment of just being myself. lol.

i stopped reading, I stopped journaling, no oracle cards, no practices, no meditation, no YouTube, no astrology, no nothing. nothing to tell me who I am and how I'm supposed to act.

i feel free of the things that muddied my self perception, even positive things.

and during this slowdown , i have also felt the panic of stopping - if I stop, I will lose. i will lose ground, consistency, followers, my direction, money, my purpose. no one will take me seriously because I'm inconsistent, I've lost momentum... I've lost attention. but my question to myself isn't how to get it back - it's when did I start giving myself away like that?

because I had been saying things and doing things without pausing to see if I really really cared about them and why I was doing them.

i wasn't evaluating the bigger picture of how my work and actions affect people, etc. and honestly, I need to change a lot before I can do many of the things I dream of.

starting with embracing my creativity and having fun for the sake of it.

for the sake of beauty, play, connection, intimacy, intelligence, sensuality, impulse, adventure, friendship, love, faith, movement... my values.

understanding how things work by engaging with them, not studying them.

letting my spirit shine because I've stopped putting books and practices in the way of creativity flowing freely in me. through me!

i am getting closer to my whole Self. not through spiritual practices, but through simply paying closer attention to my genuine experience, inviting in my inner child, reparenting myself, and just being straight up kinder to all beings, including myself.

this feels like a call to adventure in a way that can only come from the inside.

home is being redefined. again 🤪

it's like walking on a tight rope at times. the life I'm leaving behind and the life I'm living into.

hoping I'm doing the best in can to live into a future I dream of but I'm not sure I can rise to the occasion of.

but i don't think my fears around self worth that have to do with not being good enough for what I want to do in life are unfounded... that voice that tells me I might be inadequate and fall on my face is just as honest as the ones encouraging me.

balance.

so what do I do about it?

i do my best to meet it. not prescribe solutions or rush out of it. i do my best to talk to it, and not push it away in order to experience a more favorable and pleasant voice.

like a visitor in my mind that isn't super comfortable to be around but I know is in my corner. it's grumpy and mean to me at times but it has no malicious motives...it's designed to keep me alive.

that's the thing about anxiety in my opinion - it's my protector on so many levels.

it wants me to see everything, both tangible and intangible, so I can always be going through life informed - and it talks to me when I'm not looking at something.

that's worth everything to me...to keep an honest, open home in myself through all my changes.

everything will be okay 🤍

Something I didn't anticipate in my life: becoming a relaxed woman.

Ambitious woman, successful woman, dark feminine woman, magnetic woman, sexy woman, fit woman, independent woman... these things have been shoved down my throat for many years.

But a relaxed woman?
A present woman?
A caring woman?
A slow woman?

I never even considered them options.

I have no example to go by.

I have only followed the call and impulse to go slower recently and be more deliberate, as the world has ever increasinly demanded more from me.

More time, energy, money.
Disconnecting me from my true spirit, needs, wants, and desires.

Replacing them with superficial material pocessions and cheap dopamine.

It's easy to lose ones soul in the shuffle.

So here I am, in the desert of Arizona.

I am taking in the rolling hills, enjoying time my best friend and life partner, incredibly well trained horses, and in complete agreement with myself that I am in the right place, doing the right things.

I have very little figured out at 33.

But what I do have figured out is slowness.

Slowness in the form of pacing in my walk, tone of my voice, self kindness in a rough moment, gentle communication with my partner when he's experiencing the weight of his own processes, and a slow evaluation of everything that has happened in my life thus far.

Before I proceed into the next 33 years, and 33 years after that, I am thankful most today for my slowness.

Among so much, I am grateful for myself.

My work on myself.

No one knows the extent of what we've been through but ourselves - it's important to take that into account as we strive for our potentials.

An old Navajo woman named Phyllis told me once to not forget to be grateful for and pray for myself.

For the strength to do the good I want to do in the world.
For the clarity to know how to best use my energy.
For the calm to stand firm and tall in my shoes as life throws me things that could really rattle me.

So I do.
And I encourage others to as well.

I am grateful to every storm that let to the undeniable and seemingly unphased calm I feel right now.

---

What about yourself are you most grateful for today? 😊

if you want my opinion, you should say nothing

i want to talk about love, but I don't know where to start.

not with advice. not with a smushy caption. not with positioning myself as anything other than someone in love... and in love at a time that I'm thinking i should be doing more, being more, sharing more of my work with communication and having profound experiences to talk about.

pressure to go go going in a direction I don't connect with.

guilt for not knowing more about what's going on and preparing for it with guns and astrology.

i want to talk about love...

flooded with these thoughts this morning, i asked what he thinks about love. he said I think of you. he said love is varied, and challenging. yet all of our experiences bring us closer, rather than pitted against each other.

and then the topic moved away from a conversation and into movement as we started our day.

it became making coffee.
and planning the morning a little bit.
doing something for each other for no reason.

i think I'd like to to look at this massive huge elusive fickle concept and embrace it's undefinable nature.

when I feel love, I will say, "love is (fill in the blank) and I'm so glad for that!"

as answers to "what love is" present themselves.

Beauty unfolding.

It's interesting to me to wonder if roses, or anything in nature for that matter, knows that they are unfolding.

Do they even care?

The dual nature of being a human is that I know I am unfolding, and I am scared of the unknown, because I care.

I care what happens.
I care what it looks like.
I care how I'm perceived.
I care if people notice me.
I care about the quality of my blooming.

It does me no good in life to force myself to not care.

Instead, I give myself permission to care.

I care deeply.

And now there is space to ask the broader questions,

"what is MY most beautiful way to unfold?"
"what is unique about my petals and stem?"
"what is the quality of my roots stability?"
"am I in a blooming season or a winter?"
"where do I derive the most nourishment from?"
"where is the best use of my energy at any given time?"
"what is the point of blooming?"

It is most important for me in times of big change to ask these questions.

To pay attention to the quality of my thoughts, actions, emotions, relationships, and the core of my being.

Yes, our unfolding will be unique and is beautiful no matter what.

It's easy to say simple platitudes of positivity.

What I feel is more useful...

Or rather what I really need to hear right now personally...

Is that it's okay that I get confused and mixed up on my journey as it unfolds.

And it can be as simple as that.

Happy unfolding.

what if I didn't write anything?
what if I didn't do anything?
what if I never tried to be more?

what if I...paused.

and then what if I truly enjoyed the sun?
what if I swayed more in the wind?
what if I finally noticed?

over here combating the confusion with an obnoxious amount of optimism ✨

communication without all the superficial ass advice and tips!!

I've started a monthly workshop series that explores all the ways to enjoy self expression.

Todays live was mostly tones and sounds with @alder_nash :)

let us know if you liked this and want to see more!

be who you are.
if you're kind and calm, be kind and calm.
if you're fired up, be fired up! let er' rip.

don't let guilt dictate how you use your voice ✨

Close Quarters Communication!

Preston joins me for a conversation on both proactive and de-escalating communication.

Some points we talk on are:
• how hormones affect energy
• consent and reception of communication
• the art of container creation
• the inner and outer work to communicate
& so much more!

Thank you @the.preston.knowles !

"Am I who my parents wanted me to be?"

That's often a goal people measure themselves with.

Parents.
Culture.
Religion.
Society.
Politics.

But at what point is the question, maybe the most important question, asked:

"Am I who I want to be?"

Are the qualities, skills, characteristics, and intimate experiences of you taken into account?

I ask then, when will you be willing to work on yourself, for yourself?

And the next questions become,

"Do I enjoy the relationship I have with myself?"

"Do I enjoy who I am in my own company?"

"Do I recognize the smallest of qualities and quirks in myself that make me adorable, whimsical, and special?"

"Am I acting in accordance to my own unique guidance and inner constitution?"

If not you noticing those things, then who?

I'm rooting for you to be that person for yourself, dear friends ✨

why don't we have fun with boundaries!!
why are they always so freaking intense!?
yes there are times they are more charged than other times or with different people, but it's not always the psycho drama our fears make it out to be.

i refuse to make something so important more complicated than it needs to be.

join me 🤍

Me 5 minutes into a self care practice after 5 hours of self-destruction 🌲

I've been working on some jealousy, anger, resentment, and unworthiness lately.

About my business not being where I want it to be, failing, missing opportunities, not working hard enough, what I wish hadn't happened to me in my childhood...

While I'm not a licensed therapist or trauma informed counselor, I have found ways to help myself in these moments that actually work.

Even if I'm in a phase of internal self-doubt and pain, it doesn't affect my life externally.

I.e
I don't hurt myself or others.
I don't perpetuate the damage.
I don't lose my morals and values.

Here are some practical ways I "stay with myself" when I'm going down ugly thought patterns:

• I don't pretend they're not happening. I own that I'm facing ugly thoughts/emotions. One of my non-negotiables is to be honest with myself about my experience.

• I do my best to breathe and let the build up of emotion pass. The chemicals that we experience, such as fear and anger, move through the body within 90 seconds.

• I do my best to regulate so I don't speak the unkindness I'm speaking to myself to others.

• I do my best to get into nature and ground. Nature for me displays balance - thunderstorm and rainbow, for example.

• I don't journal or meditate when I'm in these phases.

• If I need to, I proactively ask for help before I'm in a really bad spiral. I let someone close to me know I'm navigating some difficult things and I want support.

In the end, there is actually a lot someone can do to create a strategy around being WITH themselves, even if it's dark and uncertain on the inside.

I wonder what would happen in the mental health crisis if we all took care of our inner worlds like this a little more 🤍

---

Do you have "in the moment of inner crisis" tools?

What are some of your best ones to move through difficult inner experiences?

ziggy ziggy hey
ziggy hey ziggy ho
walk a path of purpose
anyway I go
left, right, back around
I'm following my flow
rooted on the ground
trees full of thoughts
a river full of sound
my inner voice is strong
anchored as a mountain
I love my self,
even if I'm heady
I love my heart,
my energy is steady
I create value
when I enjoy my life
there's nothing to fear
and im amazed to be alive

🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

It's interesting to me there are two words to describe the experience of being alone.

Alone and solitary..
Loneliness and solitude.

My interpretations are:

Solitude: when you are alone intentionally.
seclusion, remote, away, inward. being content in one's own company.

Loneliness: when you don't want to be
alone, but are. being without company, or being with company that feels empty or draining. lonely in yourself.

It's possible that taking more intentional solitude and giving more attention to what it's like to be with yourself, eases the discomfort of loneliness.

& perhaps with this intention,
it can all be seen as time well spent

with your one and only precious self.

what do you think?

i notice the antics of my mind and meet them with loving presence.

and then I watch how that transforms meeting the external needs of others or the situations I'm in with more patience, grace, care, and love.

it's a choice. put simply.

it used to scare me that i could shift my perspective and behavior internally, and then watch it shift my life externally.

i didn't want to face that I had that power all along and made choices that led me down paths with pain, and paths that hurt others. not that I would take any of it back, or that I could arrive any earlier where I'm at now.

i arrived exactly on time to the understanding that i have.

and yet it is still devastating to become aware of that.

but I did make those choices.
and I did face it eventually.
and I began to take accountability.
and I'm only now integrating the ability to be gracious and forgiving to myself.

im buckled up and zeroing in with more focus. a different work has now begun.

where are you guys at with it all?
you hanging in there? 🤍✨

what if? 🤍

I love words. I love language. I love communication.
I love how everything that ever happens ever is because of communication. I love how something bore from the dark is propelled into the light through it...it's just so magical.

it was so much chaos last week, not only me but a lot of people I was interacting with. I don't anticipate it slowing down much in the rest of the year.
all I kept telling myself was "you've got this, I'm rooting for you" and it got me through some tough moments to essentially be there for myself and keep my wits about me.

so, I'm sharing what I told myself with you in hopes that it lands somewhere you need it.

im rooting for you 🫶

it's my last Wednesday night shift and as my coworker said goodbye, he said "I look up to you."

i said "wait, what?" and he said yeah, he looks up to me, that he thinks I'm a beacon of light and I always made the studio brighter.

I'm sharing this because I feel the opposite of myself these days - I am moving through some of the most intense self-doubt ever. darkest before dawn... or whatever 😬

and while this means so much to me to hear, it also proved to me that the only person holding me back and not thinking I'm awesome, capable, and seen is ME.

it hasn't been about hearing these things from others, it's never been that. it helps, but, for as long as I can remember...I am the only one who thinks I'm invisible...that's really hard for me to sit with...but sitting with it I am.

i always feel I could be doing more...and to some extent that's true, but that doesn't have to infringe upon my self-worth and value ☀️

taking all the love and care and attention back from the world and giving it back to myself a bit right now.

idk if you can resonate, but I'd love to hear about it if you can ❤️🫶

a lifetime of deaths.

i just had the most incredible conversation with a new friend.

we went everywhere from our coaching modalities of mindset and of communication, and then found ourselves talking about her passion for before death care, and becoming a death dula. this unlocked something in me that I hadn't really realized I craved to talk about, which is the deaths that we experience throughout our lives and then ultimately the final death of our physical experience being over.

no one doesn't go through either of them.
as spiritual beings, I think we come here or we're born into our bodies and we develop and cultivate our capacity for spirituality. and in that also comes the death of our identities - this happens through catalyzing experiences like job losses breakups and even just self initiated changes.

something I have been very privileged to experience is the will to face and self-initiate change, but it's complicated to talk about because of an uncertainty of where that comes from.

it isn't something I learned from anyone and it isn't something that was taught to me. self initiating changes something that I feel uniquely equipped with the will and persistence to do, despite getting to the edge of my very own darkest moments.

earlier this year is a good example of deeply knowing something needed to change about my life but feeling so trapped and stuck inside of relationships and isolation that I was so tired and abandoned, I wrote a goodbye note.

but then realizing that feeling is not something unique to me. I think it was the last part of the massive shift that I'm experiencing right now 10 months later.

where I understand all the deaths that had to happen, and I understand all the deaths to come.

I am not concerned with the things I love and care about ending. I am not concerned and overly worried about the pain I will face.

there is no need for me to sugarcoat the things that have caused me pain and how dark things have gotten as I faced each internal death.

because I can look back with confidence that each were necessary for the opportunities to grow as a person.

(caption straight from a voice text into my notes just now)

Many things feel necessary to discuss on World Mental Health day.

My deepest encouragement is to make it part of your life to check in with others, and check in with yourself on a day to day basis.

I personally "check in with myself" through:

- mind mapping
- mindful meditation
- free journaling
- talking to others
- self vocal processing
- art, creative writing, hobbies

But besides that...

It isn't just a single day to consider how we're all doing mentally:

It's a 24/7/365 thing.

I don't think it's that we don't want to or feel the need to be there for each other...the opposite actually!

Instead, we are all strapped for time, mental attention, and emotional bandwidth.

So, if we all do a little bit, each day, to look out for each other, those small moments and intentions will compound.

Make time for yourself.
Create space for others.
Let small moments build.

❤️

I can be very disruptive.
especially when I'm in balance internally.
my light and my dark are active and activated.

Balance meaning I feel emotionally regulated, I communicate clearly, I'm sleeping well, I'm aware of my responsibilities and disciplined, as well as taking rest as I need it without much resistance. I'm taking care of my life.

I know where my feet are.

So why do I think this makes me disruptive?

Well, the more I learn to stay with myself and ground, I don't hedge my words or hold back my truth.
I speak plainly and don't second guess myself. I'm also okay being wrong about something and changing my perspective. I want genuine resolution to issues and miscommunications, not superficial niceties.

Because I do this, it disrupts people hiding something, unsure of themselves, afraid of confrontation, people pleasers, anyone without boundaries, etc.

While it isn't comfortable, I actually think this is one of the best things we can do for each other 💕

Be disruptors and be disrupted.

There will always be disruptors, but another thing to consider: do we know how to be disrupted? have our patterns and our discomfort shown to us in clear light so we can deepen our inner resolve without caving?

if we're always agreed with, do we actually know what's true for ourselves?

what's worth standing up for?

what if we all showed up to our relationships balanced in ourselves rather than wobbly in the winds of disruption?

just a thought.
could be fun.

I LOVE MEN.

for all the men in my life, the next two pictures of flowers are for you, in case you've never been intentionally given flowers - hopefully this counts a least a little bit!
you are wonderful, loved, caring, generous, protectors, wonderful problem solvers, and the perfect balance to me in so many ways. I love and appreciate you 💖

I am so grateful for all the men I know personally, and all the men in the world who do amazing things with little to no acknowledgement.

that's all :)

it's not whether you agree with everyone and are perfectly likeable that makes you impactful to those around you.
it helps, but it's deeper than that.

it's whether you can be in a space with someone you disagree with and understand them.
be in a space with someone going through a hard time and not try to fix them because of your own discomfort.
be in a space with someone you can't empathize with, but try your best to see what they're experiencing.
be in a space with someone you straight up don't like, and have a regulated nervous system.

that's the grey. the middle.

that's the healing space.

most of us are overthinking it - with good reason too.
the rules and rigidity of the world right now is kinda intense.

but I want to remind you of something very important to remember:

there isnt a script or certification for connection, listening, compassion, patience, building trust, and confidence in the idea that showing up for each other is important.

and to do it best we can ✨

when we know the shape of our own soul, it's much easier to have confident boundaries.

everyone is looking at boundaries like something that's done for them, depends on someone else respecting them, and something that won't require discernment. literally anywhere but internally.

but true boundaries have nothing to do with other people - not at first.

they require introspection and careful observation of what will and won't be tolerated.

what is a compromise and what is a non negotiable?
the only place to learn that is listening to yourself and your body. only because only we know the truth of ourselves. which is a real doozy these days when there's so much noise.

boundaries require a practice of going inside and making yourself strong so it doesn't matter who or what you encounter. you know who you are ✨

how do you feel about your boundaries?
are they strong or could they use some work?##

Becoming friends with my parents, starting with my mom.
Part 7.

Where are we now?
I tell my mom everything. She is kind, patient, loving, and tells me I'm beautiful. she encourages me to be reflective. she really listens. and I really listen to her!

Through everything, I found a way to love my mother for who she is, not who I wanted her to be 💕

There is an issue with romanticizing the "wild woman" archetype. I love my wacky mother, AND she did a lot of damage. she was selfish with her life and did what she needed to do - and it caused a lot of pain. she has no illusions about this when we talk about it now - through my own regulation and forgiveness, it opened a space for her to feel safe admitting to me how she felt about what she has done.

i see a lot of women these days claim to be expressing their wild woman truth, and while that's beautiful, I think it needs to come with a bit more consciousness of the impact it has on others.

this isn't about suppressing it. it's about maturity.

for me, it's about making sure the impact on others is taken into account as I do what I want with my life. as I express my wild woman archetype - unafraid to speak my truth, but taking into account the implications of it and being intelligent about it.

i can be wild, and:
i need to be able to take accountability.
i need to be able to apologize if my actions have hurt someone.
i need to be able to lead myself through emotional experiences with patience, tact, and compassion.

this is something I think is missing in most women empowerment spaces.

i have a lot of respect for how hard the women of the past have fought for rights. I feel very privileged to sit here and share my thoughts freely. and I believe with this privilege I can empower myself to spiritually mature. and from this more mature place, I can empower everyone I encounter on my path.

and so, I bring this story of forgiveness and hope to a close.

i am proud to be good friends with my wild mother.
i am eager to be a mother one day.
i am hopeful to set an example.

i am delighted to be a woman :)

I've been talking about my mother... now I want to talk about how it affected the female friendship wound.

When I was in my late teens and 20s, I was chaotic.

I had no understanding of my emotions, how to regulate, or how to communicate honestly, and i have lost so many female friends over the years because of an inability to regulate and communicate.
Not 100% my fault of course but I can see these mistakes in hindsight. This still happens from time to time, and I mourn the loss of female friends.

But when I was in my early 20s, it was really bad. i once went to a therapist that said that I will never be happy unless I repaired my relationship with my mother. I thought that was complete bullshit at the time.

I always made an effort to have female friends. I attempted to be kind, fun, playful, funny, and nurturing best i could.
I went out of my way to find ways to connect.
Not all of them deep, but each of them I held a wish for connection, and I did my best.

I noticed something happening after I DID start repairing the relationship with my mother: I had a lot more love for women.

And more so over the past year, i really wanted to learn how to BE a good woman. WHAT is a GOOD woman?

a good friend for other women. a good female friend for men. a more whole person - balancing out my masculine development because of being raised by my dad, with what I felt being a woman was.

This came in the form of addressing my criticisms of other women. the initiative to be a good woman has come with a lot of frustration I had to address.
I have been frustrated by a lack of emotional accountability.
I have been frustrated by vapid conversations and unchecked ego.
I have been frustrated by superficial narratives.
and my truth is that I was never hurt more in my life than by other women - and I wanted to talk about it.

Because I was not only hurt by these things, I saw those things in myself and how damaging it was for my relationships with women in the past.

I want to keep talking about the dynamic nature of women in a grounded way.

But, the most important thing to know:
women. are. incredible.

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The information and tools provided on this website are not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. The Spec Method is not therapy or professional counseling.

most problems in life are communication problems.